With a lot of life before me,
And a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
I spent most of the next days, lookin' at the x-rays,
Talkin' 'bout the options and talkin' 'bout sweet
Asked
How's it hit ya, when you get that kind of news.
Man what ya do.
And
[I like to think that these moments that stop us on a dime can refer to any kind of trials or adversity that we suddenly realize we have to bear. I will never forget those moments.]
[Chorus]
I went sky divin', [I've talked a lot about "losing our life" in order to find it. And seriously, I've been given some pretty heavy things that I am required to believe in. And in order to walk in faith, I've needed to do certain things that have felt just like sky diving would feel.]
I went rocky mountain climbin', [To me this meant figuring out what the heck I could do to make it right. It meant studying the scriptures and praying like I had never done before. And not just for a short period of time but as a new habit I recognized I had to establish in my life in order to make it through.]
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fumanchu. [The bull represents hell for me. It represents all the battles I've had with the adversary. I've never ridden a bull or a fake one but I've seen it done and it's a pretty good representation of how I felt at times.]
And I loved deeper, [When I finally let go of my Specific expectations, looked at my Desires from a more General perspective, and redirected them to a more appropriate source for me--when I finally did this--the love for everyone in my life sank down into the depths of my soul.]
And I spoke sweeter, [Seriously. Everything changed.]
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying, [I didn't really understand where I hadn't been forgiving or what needed to be Fore-Given before. But when I allowed others to be what they wanted to be without trying to force them into being what I needed them to be which was more than they were able to be and then turned to my Savior for what I needed, wow, it was so amazing!]
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'. [And that's why I'm posting this song. I really hope everyone gets the chance to not just give up their lives, their selves but give them up to Jesus Christ. What life he gives back is hands down the best thing I've ever experienced. I mean I'm seriously done searching for more. I've found it.]
That most the time I wasn't. [Until I was loved the way He loved me I couldn't be the wife I knew I inherently Desired and HAD to be. I mean there was no other choice unless I wanted to be eternally miserable. I had to become more than I was.]
And I became a friend a friend would like to have. [Letting go of myself helped me to focus more on the needs and Desires of my family and friends instead getting into these feelings of victimization when things didn't go as I expected.]
And all the sudden goin' fishing,
Wasn't such an imposition.
And I went three times that year I lost my dad. [This refers to anything I didn't really like to do before, things that bored me or were an "imposition." Afterwards they flowed out of me so naturally.]
Well I finally read the good book,
And I took a good long hard look at what I'd do
If I could do it all again. [I had read the good book and other good books before, but there are levels of looking at it. It was finally this good long hard look and the application of it in my life that turned the key. And there's no use dwelling on could of-should of things. We start now. That's why Jesus died for us. To give us that chance now. It's not too late.]
And then.
[Chorus]
Like tomorrow was a gift and you've got eternity
To think about what you do with it,
What could you do with it, what can
I do with with it, what would I do with it.
[I knew I had a choice. I had to make my choice. I had to make sure that this choice was in alignment with God's will for me. I was trying to find the Justice in it. But what I found instead was the Mercy in it. I realized that sometimes I have to accept Mercy for me. And it was hard because even though I came to the point where I understood that Mercy, it meant I would have to hurt people because they wouldn't understand. That made it seem contrary to giving up my life: What about the Mercy I committed to give to others? It made it seem like I was being selfish. Yet I couldn't and had never before been ABLE to give up my life on a daily basis and in all my relationships like I was now able to give it up. I came to be filled with Mercy. It just started flowing out of me. And I realized that even though it did hurt others, it was only temporary and that when we accept his Mercy for us, he will also give it to--compensate, atone for, redeem--all those who have been called to help me bear my burden. I'm so thankful for those who have chosen to bear that burden when it came to them--especially my kids.]
[Chorus]
Sky divin',
I went rocky mountain climbin',
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fumanchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I watched an eagle as
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
 |
| rt: Tim Mcgraw, lft: Tim Mcgraw with song writers Tim Nicols and Craig Wiseman |
I am so grateful for these song writers and for Tim McGraw singing it. It was such a balm for my soul during those hard times, a way for me to understand more fully what I was going through.
